tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-335247302024-03-21T15:31:41.748+00:00és bué de fixeClarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.comBlogger416125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-62481944970467762602012-04-06T22:30:00.000+01:002012-04-06T22:30:35.023+01:00COELHINHO<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">De olhos vermelhos</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">De pêlos branquinhos</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">De pulo bem leve</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Eu sou o coelhinho.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Sou muito assustado</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Porém sou guloso</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Por uma cenoura</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Já fico manhoso.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Eu pulo pra frente</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Eu pulo pra trás</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Dou mil cambalhotas</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Sou forte demais.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Comi uma cenoura</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Com casca e tudo.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Tão grande ela era...</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Fiquei barrigudo!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Mas agora vamos analisar a letra:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">De olhos vermelhos, (O bicho tava doidão)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">De pêlo branquinho, (Deve ser velho também)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">De pulo bem leve, (paneleiro!)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Eu sou o coelhinho, (diz ser manhoso)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Sou muito assustado, (uuuuuuuuh.... nooossa!)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Porém sou guloso, (Huuun aih tem)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Por uma cenoura... (assumiu...)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Já fico manhoso (definitivamente paneleiro)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Eu pulo pra frente, eu pulo pra trás (versos altamente eróticos)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Dou 1000 cambalhotas (Kama Sutra)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Sou forte demais! (pit-boy)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Comi uma cenoura (assumiu messssmo)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Com casca e tudo (Com proteção pelo menos)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Tão grande ela era... (aff...)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Fiquei barrigudo!!! (Aaaaaaahhh bom... era coelha!!!)</span>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-44532619143274088712011-09-23T21:13:00.000+01:002011-09-23T21:13:44.429+01:00Quién dijo ...<br />
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 0.45cm; margin-bottom: 0cm; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span>El
primer día de clase en la escuela secundaria de los USA, la
profesora presenta a los alumnos a un nuevo compañero: Sakuri
Suzuki, de Kyoto, Japón.<br />Empieza la clase y la profesora
comenta:<br />- Vamos a ver vuestros conocimientos de historia y
política:<br />Quién dijo "dadme libertad o dadme la
muerte"?<br />Silencio en la sala<br />Al poco tiempo, Suzuki
levanta la mano -timidamente- y dice:<br />- Patrick Henry en 1775 en
Philadelphia<br />¡Muy bien Suzuki!<br />Y quién dijo: "El estado
es el pueblo y el pueblo no puede hundirse?"<br />Y Suzuki:<br />-
Abraham Lincoln en 1863, en Washington.<br />La profesora mira a los
alumnos y dice:<br />¿¿No tenéis vergüenza?? Suzuki es japonés y
sabe mas sobre la história americana que vosotros!<br />Se oye una voz
al fondo, diciendo:<br />-Te vamos a matar... Japonés hijo de
p...<br />Quien fue?! grita la profesora.<br />Suzuki levanta la mano y
sin esperar responde:<br />- General McArthur el 7 de diciembre de 1941
en Pearl Harbour y también a Lee Iacocca, en 1982, en la Asamblea
General de Chrysler.<br />El grupo se queda en silencio, y se oye a
alguien al fondo diciendo:<br />-Creo que voy a vomitar...<br />La
profesora grita:<br />- Quien fue?<br />Y Suzuki:<br />- George Bush
(padre) al Primer Ministro Tanaka durante un almuerzo, en Tokio,<br />en
1991.<br />Uno de los alumnos ya no puede más y grita:<br />-
Chúpamela!<br />Y la profesora muy irritada, grita:<br />- Quién ha
sido ahora?<br />Y Suzuki, sin dudarlo:<br />- Bill Clinton a Mónica
Lewinsky, en la Sala Oval de la Casa Blanca, en Washington, en
1997.<br />Y otro alumno se levanta y grita:<br />- Mierda de Suzuki!!<br />Y
Suzuki responde:<br />- Valentino Rossi despues del GP de Motociclismo
de Rio de Janeiro en 2002.<br />El grupo se pone histérico, la
profesora se desmaya, se abre la puerta y entra el director, que
pregunta:<br />- ¡¿Qué mierda es esta?! ¡¡Nunca había visto algo
así!!<br />Y Suzuki:<br />- Jose María Aznar a Mariano Rajoy al
encontrarse el desastre del "Prestige" en Galicia, en
2003.<br />El director se enfada aún más con la indisciplina de la
clase y exclama:<br />- Pandilla de mariquitas.. siento vergüenza de
vosotros. Espero que algún día seáis hombres de verdad!!<br />Y
Suzuki termina:<br />- José Mourinho, después del aplastante Barça 5
- Real Madrid 0 (Camp Nou, 29/11/2010</span></span></span></span></span></div>
Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-45325501875813338352010-06-08T19:46:00.000+01:002010-06-08T19:47:31.577+01:00COISAS QUE SÓ UMA MULHER CONSEGUE:1 - Fingir naturalidade durante um exame ginecológico.<br />2 - Usar o poder de uma calça jeans para rediagramar a estrutura do corpo.<br />3 - Ter crise conjugal, crise existencial, crise de identidade e crise de nervos!<br />4 - Ser mãe solteira, mãe casada, mãe separada, mãe do marido.<br />5 - Lavar a calcinha no chuveiro. E depois pendurá-la na torneira, para horror do sexo masculino.<br />6 - Rasgar a meia na entrada da festa.<br />7 - Sentir-se pronta para conquistar o mundo, quando está usando um batom novo!<br />8 - Chorar no banheiro, e ficar se olhando no espelho para ver qual melhor ângulo.<br />9 - Achar que o seu relacionamento acabou, e depois descobrir que e ra tudo tensão pré-menstrual. (Esta é perfeita!!!!)<br />10 - Nunca saber se é para dividir a conta, ou se é para ficar meiguinha.<br />11 - Dizer não, para ele insistir bastante, e aí ter que dizer sim!<br /><br />SÓ AS MULHERES COMPREENDEM:<br />1 - Por que é bom ter cinco pares de sapatos pretos.<br />2 - A diferença entre creme, marfim, e bege claro.<br />3 - Achar o homem ideal é difícil, mas achar um bom cabeleireiro é praticamente impossível.<br /><br />E O TÓPICO NÚMERO UM QUE SÓ AS MULHERES ENTENDEM:<br />1 - As outras mulheres!<br /><br />ORAÇÃO DAS MULHERES:<br />'Querido Deus, Até agora o meu dia foi bom: não fiz fofoca,não perdi a paciência,não fui gananciosa, sarcástica, rabugenta,chata e nem irônica.<br />Controlei minha TPM, não reclamei, não Praguejei, não gritei, nem tive ataques de ciúmes.<br />Não comi chocolate.<br />Também não fiz débitos em meu cartão de crédito (nem do meu marido) e nem dei cheques pré-datados.<br />Mas peço a sua proteção, Senhor, pois estou para levantar da cama a qualquer momento...<br />Amém!<br /><br /><br /><br />e POR FIM TRÊS COISAS DA QUAL SÓ MULHERES SÃO CAPAZES: <br />1- CHORAR SEM TER RAZÃO; <br />2- TRANSAR SEM TER TESÃO; e <br />3- FAZER XIXI SEM POR A MÃO.Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-16136119709468621482010-06-08T19:41:00.002+01:002010-06-08T19:42:37.305+01:00ANEDOTASA loira entra na loja de ferragens e diz:<br />-boa tarde,preciso de uma broca de 5mm e uma de 3mm,preciso de fazer um furo de 8mm...<br />-está bem,responde a empregada tambem loira,porque não leva antes duas brocas de 4mm e atando-as dá 8mm ?<br /><br /><br />Ainda no paraíso Eva pergunta a Adão :<br />-Adâo,ainda me amas ?<br />-e eu tenho outra hipótese,respondeu Adão!<br /><br /><br />Na escola a professora pergunta:<br />-Joãozinho,se eu disser :eu fui bonita,que tempo é ?<br />-é passado.<br />-muito bem e se eu disser: eu sou bonita?<br />-é mentira!<br /><br /><br />A loira volta a pé ao Stand e diz:<br />-o carro que me venderam tem água no escape.<br />-água no escape,isso dá vontade de rir,onde é que está o carro ?<br />-caiu na piscina!Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-39476355585340397252010-06-08T19:41:00.001+01:002010-06-08T19:41:38.717+01:00Jesus Cristo num hospital português .... . . . . . . . Hi, hi, hi, :-)Esta está GENIAL!!!!!!! :-)<br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br />Jesus Cristo, cansado do tédio do Paraíso, resolveu voltar à terra para fazer o bem. Procurou o melhor lugar para descer e optou pelo Hospital de S. Francisco Xavier, onde viu um médico a trabalhar há muitas horas e a morrer de cansaço.<br />Para não atrair as atenções , decidiu ir vestido de médico. Jesus Cristo entrou de bata, passando pela fila de pacientes no corredor, até atingir o gabinete do médico. Os pacientes viram e comentaram: - Olha, vai mudar o turno...<br /> Jesus Cristo entrou na sala e disse ao médico que podia sair, dado que ele mesmo iria assegurar o serviço. E, decidido, gritou:<br /> - O PRÓXIMO!<br />Entrou no gabinete um homem paraplégico que se deslocava numa cadeira de rodas.<br />Jesus Cristo levantou-se, olhou bem para o homem, e com a palma da mão direita sobre a sua cabeça disse:<br /> - LEVANTA-TE E ANDA!<br />O homem levantou-se, andou e saiu do gabinete empurrando a cadeira de rodas. Quando chegou ao corredor, o próximo da fila perguntou:<br /> - Que tal é o médico novo?<br />Ele respondeu:<br /> - Igualzinho aos outros... nem exames, nem análises, nem medicamentos... Nada! Só querem é despacharClarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-11514015915977860262010-06-01T19:27:00.001+01:002010-06-01T19:31:54.128+01:00Teste de leitura veloz(da Universidade de Salamanca, Espanha, aplicado a quem ingressa no curso de Lingüística).<br /><br />Tente ler sem errar: <br /> <br />O gato assim fez<br />O gato é fez<br />O gato que fez<br />O gato se fez<br />O gato mantém fez<br />O gato um fez<br />O gato anormal fez<br />O gato ocupado fez<br />O gato por fez<br />O gato dez fez<br />O gato segundos fez<br /><br />Agora leia somente a terceira palavra de cada uma das frases e...Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-59731158097071530342010-06-01T19:23:00.002+01:002010-06-01T19:24:48.077+01:00O computador magalhães e as mulheres do Norte<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK8c6B_IkMmY44RTjAVFWAyZE3YCmUgK-3R0MdS0L9rCoyFhJqakEFiBw3j2ziUkw5_ZY3C8ZpebuXE9156D4Qxrp6tmaS6hOKcfzrfqHHX9azBM1fMy9VvN7ILiTjaPevCiDRPw/s1600/magalhaes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK8c6B_IkMmY44RTjAVFWAyZE3YCmUgK-3R0MdS0L9rCoyFhJqakEFiBw3j2ziUkw5_ZY3C8ZpebuXE9156D4Qxrp6tmaS6hOKcfzrfqHHX9azBM1fMy9VvN7ILiTjaPevCiDRPw/s320/magalhaes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477872883599483570" /></a>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-39085794410358301212010-05-27T21:00:00.002+01:002010-05-27T21:03:26.607+01:00SÓ PODIA SER DO JOAOZINHO ....!!!!!!!"JOÃOZINHO NÃO MUDOU...PIOROU"<br /><br />A professora divide a turma em dois grupos e decide fazer um jogo com perguntas.<br /><br /><br />O primeiro grupo a chegar aos 6 ganha um chocolate.<br />Para que Joãozinho não lhe 'encha' a paciência, ela coloca-o no grupo dos mais inteligentes.<br /><br /><br />Assim nem tem tempo para dar aquelas respostas idiotas.<br />Vendo isso, ele diz para o outro grupo:<br />-Nós vamos arrasar-vos, cambada de idiotas!!!!!!<br /><br />Começa o jogo...<br /><br />- Quem descobriu a América?<br />O grupo de Joãozinho responde de imediato:<br />- CRISTÓVÃO COLOMBO!<br />E o Joãozinho grita:<br />- Eu não disse? Bando de orelhudos, 1 a 0!!!<br />A Professora repreende-o:<br />- Está calado Joãozinho!!!<br /><br />Segunda pergunta:<br />- Que idioma se fala em Espanha?<br />O grupo de Joãozinho responde:<br />- ESPANHOL!!!!<br />E Joãozinho grita de novo:<br />- Viram só? Seus atrasados, 2 a 0!<br />A Professora repreende-o:<br />- Cala-te Joãozinhooo!!!<br /><br />Terceira pergunta.<br />- Como chegou Cristóvão Colombo à América?<br />O grupo de Joãozinho responde:<br />- DE CARAVELA.<br />Joãozinho, cheio de emoção, logo de seguida:<br />- Eu bem avisei, seus sacos de merda, 3 a 0!!!<br /><br />A professora, irritada, grita:<br />- Joãozinho!!! LEVANTA E SAI FORA!!!<br />Joãozinho responde de imediato:<br />- O PÉNIS 'stôra'! Que show, 4 a 0 seus bananas!! !<br /><br />A professora indignada volta a gritar:<br />- Joãozinho, SAI E NÃO VOLTA MAIS!!!!!<br />Joãozinho feliz da vida responde ainda mais rápido:<br />- A MERDA, A MERDA, professora! Hahaha, foderam-se! 5 a 0!!!<br /><br />A professora, não aguentando mais, grita:<br />- Joãozinho, SAI E SÓ VOLTA DENTRO DE UM MÊS!!!<br />Joãozinho, excitadíssimo, responde aos saltos:<br />- A MENSTRUAÇÃO!!! PUTA QUE OS PARIU, 6 a 0! <br />GANHAAAAAMOOOOSSS !!!Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-24948974350877172282010-02-16T12:02:00.010+00:002010-02-18T12:14:33.069+00:00Carnaval... jejejeje<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq_wha1o_o6xFVkc1cBzqp1TBHhxNZgSBjY0dUjdikd7Bo75nyt-gkkQ6VqOiqUYEtnneMX_0jvKQ_gM3wuZzCCG7cnKFI_1y_0ixRLIbfEBxy3aqi6-M0rSG6RvjyRVU3Sb52zg/s1600-h/Fotos-0005+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq_wha1o_o6xFVkc1cBzqp1TBHhxNZgSBjY0dUjdikd7Bo75nyt-gkkQ6VqOiqUYEtnneMX_0jvKQ_gM3wuZzCCG7cnKFI_1y_0ixRLIbfEBxy3aqi6-M0rSG6RvjyRVU3Sb52zg/s320/Fotos-0005+2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439555413698349474" /></a>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-72987221144005777382010-01-05T10:34:00.006+00:002010-01-05T10:59:57.885+00:00Os Reis Magos<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDXNNG9aWRHimvrxy7ymZVrCIiqT-4Ef4_KMA7qjQMw7lzaKSHVUtvyfCmVoc-m_GauOeg77jPhwL_nwU_lktPviDdhq3y2fAvnLmCvdsGCStpjwocYSnY9K_9IT8XkXtVMOPJfg/s1600-h/reyes_magos.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 218px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDXNNG9aWRHimvrxy7ymZVrCIiqT-4Ef4_KMA7qjQMw7lzaKSHVUtvyfCmVoc-m_GauOeg77jPhwL_nwU_lktPviDdhq3y2fAvnLmCvdsGCStpjwocYSnY9K_9IT8XkXtVMOPJfg/s320/reyes_magos.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423207651209476834" /></a>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-3992783689225385822009-12-24T21:36:00.007+00:002009-12-24T21:47:47.779+00:00BOAS FESTAS...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijISc847yMtP6NvW3ATvRpnoAK3w52FB6JUVuFV3gW7uu6g5poTPs23gciDhdhKxIcu9LWxAb4BlbQoG6bvdWD7z_SNmNQ3OSf43iLbNjerzv8L5ShpjXxbMH3LY7Py7j33pLUBQ/s1600-h/mama-noel-01.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijISc847yMtP6NvW3ATvRpnoAK3w52FB6JUVuFV3gW7uu6g5poTPs23gciDhdhKxIcu9LWxAb4BlbQoG6bvdWD7z_SNmNQ3OSf43iLbNjerzv8L5ShpjXxbMH3LY7Py7j33pLUBQ/s320/mama-noel-01.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5418921630011471090" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfgbWywAqTW8zFIoK727YaAZl-vE8nlivqMh922OMeDPlQEKImn5Rw4ZgEq8Hu3v0SiLxxOk2TM_OZ78-5U70i3tnZLp7FXHrL45vxdIL83c5WhQgbkEkGeXDE74Sx0wrtOpQ8A/s1600-h/feliz-navidad-ylekal.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 254px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfgbWywAqTW8zFIoK727YaAZl-vE8nlivqMh922OMeDPlQEKImn5Rw4ZgEq8Hu3v0SiLxxOk2TM_OZ78-5U70i3tnZLp7FXHrL45vxdIL83c5WhQgbkEkGeXDE74Sx0wrtOpQ8A/s320/feliz-navidad-ylekal.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5418920242418005762" /></a>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-14867420207854937862009-05-19T11:01:00.000+01:002009-05-19T11:02:06.243+01:00El Baile de las vacas<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/W-zXGmNJmrE&hl=pt-br&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/W-zXGmNJmrE&hl=pt-br&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-58766081368060476592009-03-18T17:56:00.003+00:002009-03-18T18:03:12.116+00:00Assistente do IKEA<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHdZ6KaGkHv28XoFKfQEUSNZnqYp9kCrR3BJQ_QjtSJeHG7BOVEVuw5UYbZd-sMQr-HidglgtmE77FDEZLjeW74YD6tirMwsP7KbuuCv8S2qoy5_ugVs2ZOQMeumrNUToGOrCtEQ/s1600-h/Ikea_logo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 101px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHdZ6KaGkHv28XoFKfQEUSNZnqYp9kCrR3BJQ_QjtSJeHG7BOVEVuw5UYbZd-sMQr-HidglgtmE77FDEZLjeW74YD6tirMwsP7KbuuCv8S2qoy5_ugVs2ZOQMeumrNUToGOrCtEQ/s320/Ikea_logo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314589015153710434" /></a><br />Recebido por email (não me responsabilizo por algumas palavras transcritas):<br /><br />"A Ikea criou uma assistente virtual feminina para ajudar os seus clientes na navegação da página. Ao entrares em http://www.ikea.com/pt/pt podes ver que no canto superior direito tens uma opção "Perguntar à Anna". Se lá clicares vais abrir uma janela e aparece a Anna. Podes perguntar o que quiseres. Pergunta por sofás, flores e ela responde...<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCCIWMjKBAh97RQfy-Iunpfku4Pu1dRKhzrsFwXHyDw17kBZWxBAuLlSs4wD3Uig-y5CNPwEwI-KWHIJRYPKc7OawyvMOusD2V8U6WyZQkR5wn-l3A_UYIQYr_MzckBItedAAIJQ/s1600-h/anna.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 190px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCCIWMjKBAh97RQfy-Iunpfku4Pu1dRKhzrsFwXHyDw17kBZWxBAuLlSs4wD3Uig-y5CNPwEwI-KWHIJRYPKc7OawyvMOusD2V8U6WyZQkR5wn-l3A_UYIQYr_MzckBItedAAIJQ/s320/anna.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314589809740071906" /></a><br />Agora vem a parte divertida.<br /><br />Esperimenta estas perguntas e vê o que ela responde:<br /><br />1 - Gosto de ti!<br />2 - Mostra-me os peitos!<br />3 - Que olhos tão giros!<br />4 - Feia!<br />5 - Amo-te!<br />6 - Queres fazer sexo?<br />7 - Vamos pinar?<br />8 - Gostas de mim?<br />9 - Tens namorado?<br />10 - Onde vives?<br />11 - Posso convidar-te para jantar?<br />12- Cheiras mal!<br /><br />Altamente... Nota máxima para os informáticos que programaram a página da Ikea!!"Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-47655759639761651432009-02-24T15:02:00.000+00:002009-03-11T11:14:45.451+00:00Musas do carnaval do Rio 2009<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBPoqZxTac3oxYfCITaYhIrnSsOOMLa-zuSO0em71JhrGY285jGburiVRSQyChOM7a50B6gvfvVIwpClkecJryiPwzmFAKzc6IMTqhIY-f9tlm42wCFuHl9LKXnuZzMAXjaqGM2Q/s1600-h/carnaval3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBPoqZxTac3oxYfCITaYhIrnSsOOMLa-zuSO0em71JhrGY285jGburiVRSQyChOM7a50B6gvfvVIwpClkecJryiPwzmFAKzc6IMTqhIY-f9tlm42wCFuHl9LKXnuZzMAXjaqGM2Q/s320/carnaval3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311884382430562002" /></a><br />Rainha de bateria do Salgueiro, Viviane Araújo mostra simpatia na avenida<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUg6U-t2xPcjyuTaOmDg_4n9A-RR4x7YnI6QNbc7Ph4nvf5y1pZdL55c9tKGQgdA_6zYt_n6Zu17VWQ_IUlA0biZETvyh_MLpnoSz66Jbd_PxDX0V1r9jMJiRDDY_O9T1jiHCjVA/s1600-h/1125694-6919-atm14.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUg6U-t2xPcjyuTaOmDg_4n9A-RR4x7YnI6QNbc7Ph4nvf5y1pZdL55c9tKGQgdA_6zYt_n6Zu17VWQ_IUlA0biZETvyh_MLpnoSz66Jbd_PxDX0V1r9jMJiRDDY_O9T1jiHCjVA/s320/1125694-6919-atm14.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311885304791644578" /></a><br />Quitéria Chagas mostra samba no pé à frente da bateria da Império Serrano<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAMKl3OMzG6HbSMUskeMdUueo0crF1vDc3C6J8zH5whTO11URqrfRb20mpwACOxS5PTadTlyxqfrYRmCiKjSfWSFaz6AbJFF0E-fJkG-zjWDpzsDL5B0W4O9yjCF7Me8qdXIKnng/s1600-h/carnaval4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAMKl3OMzG6HbSMUskeMdUueo0crF1vDc3C6J8zH5whTO11URqrfRb20mpwACOxS5PTadTlyxqfrYRmCiKjSfWSFaz6AbJFF0E-fJkG-zjWDpzsDL5B0W4O9yjCF7Me8qdXIKnng/s320/carnaval4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311884076170422626" /></a><br />Gracyanne Barbosa é a rainha de bateria da Estação Primeira de MangueiraClarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-32180471253967752222009-02-24T09:51:00.000+00:002009-03-11T14:52:03.117+00:00<a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/carnaval/0129.gif" border="0"></a>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-83564310038937603242009-02-14T09:00:00.000+00:002009-02-14T09:00:01.192+00:00Dia dos Namorados<br><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/dia_dos_namorados/0018.jpg" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Dia dos Namorados - Orkut"></a><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-63402031872554681802009-02-12T10:17:00.000+00:002009-02-12T10:18:27.509+00:00Traição rural<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBHwsOJyf9bWpd5onhscruFuWS0-ZjC2gM45dESjjk4O_inWwameMxxTajZhZyj4Ea7vmdz1W98Ju4g2zxtnGk4ttAL9xFBqjP_BZA1GwXOq91ikSs7t-1hfbDaVX4RQP9X2AXUw/s1600-h/trai%C3%A7ao+rural.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 211px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBHwsOJyf9bWpd5onhscruFuWS0-ZjC2gM45dESjjk4O_inWwameMxxTajZhZyj4Ea7vmdz1W98Ju4g2zxtnGk4ttAL9xFBqjP_BZA1GwXOq91ikSs7t-1hfbDaVX4RQP9X2AXUw/s320/trai%C3%A7ao+rural.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301853226408286114" /></a>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-60328363385208087642009-01-01T10:25:00.000+00:002009-02-12T10:26:00.251+00:00Feliz Ano Novo 2009<br><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/feliz_ano_novo/0282.gif" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Feliz Ano Novo - Orkut"></a><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-73138354280481009792008-12-24T15:14:00.001+00:002008-12-24T15:16:12.869+00:00BOAS FESTAS...<br><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/mamae_noel/0001.gif" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Mamãe Noel - Orkut"></a><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-39632583687638358992008-11-14T12:08:00.002+00:002008-11-14T12:14:07.477+00:00Sexta-feira...<br><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/sexta_feira/0090.gif" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Sexta Feira - Orkut"></a><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br><br /><br><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/sexta_feira/0063.gif" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Sexta Feira - Orkut"></a><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br><br /><br><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/sexta_feira/0021.jpg" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Sexta Feira - Orkut"></a><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-43376781106278844752008-11-14T11:38:00.000+00:002008-11-14T11:39:02.610+00:00<br><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/pensamentos/0060.jpg" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Pensamentos - Orkut"></a><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-44818829012786077122008-11-11T11:58:00.000+00:002008-11-14T11:58:53.047+00:00<br><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/" title="Recados para Orkut"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/engracadas/0785.jpg" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Engraçadas - Orkut"></a><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-1700765012513457962008-10-31T16:00:00.000+00:002008-10-31T16:54:01.493+00:00<br><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc166/recado/glimboo/dia_das_bruxas/0171.gif" border="0" alt="Recados e Imagens - Dia das Bruxas - Orkut"><br><br><b><a href="http://www.glimboo.com/"></a></b><br><br>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-50490206907844721302008-07-25T15:17:00.017+01:002008-12-09T09:57:32.559+00:00INVENTOS GENIAIS<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzZnEpEGm1-FRDNY9TFRxkym4ob8C7AFtZTuIhIgmE0gLy0Pw8ZLgYan5tymf-wvKkSJgZ2uhDNMBTIzIG0MJ1EXlFjQK0d4bRtCkB4jkbeRkl8GvLnz14S5xd9P99NGjo0Y7pJQ/s1600-h/1.bmp"><img style="display:block; 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margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGEjdlKYRKmaaRLQNUxzM-kQmbL1S3WaADf7TbatUsVCciXcQzVu7SRcmMQXGho1qhLTsVPPj8qP71Uegbgl1cNfM3usOjPJcOK5ImscH07tWHqJU_lrDnT_rM0FnpdpGzt05BnQ/s320/16.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226956536717255042" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHtfrZ9tXbWz5cu4qhhMaZjWiWSa8gs-T28CCKPCz9-2UNJmuQJCKBeNhuhHTI4MWE931YLUB-TbTfj_OJq-NV4900zReowoydTXy2UI8jDUx0ZesWMyZNGuJNXOov7rOu_5erLA/s1600-h/17.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHtfrZ9tXbWz5cu4qhhMaZjWiWSa8gs-T28CCKPCz9-2UNJmuQJCKBeNhuhHTI4MWE931YLUB-TbTfj_OJq-NV4900zReowoydTXy2UI8jDUx0ZesWMyZNGuJNXOov7rOu_5erLA/s320/17.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226956272858669986" /></a>Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524730.post-25041909012446756542008-07-17T11:02:00.000+01:002008-07-17T11:04:57.653+01:00A calculadora do Windows é uma indecência!*Enviaram-me isto por e-mail e quis partilhá-lo convosco!<br /> <br />"A calculadora do Windows é uma indecência!<br /> <br />Esta é boa.... (Será que Bill Gates não entende português?) Uma vergonha!<br />Não há quem tome medidas?<br /> <br /><br />Se não acreditam, vejam:<br />1- Abra a calculadora do Windows;<br />2- Mude-a para científica (menu View ou Ver);<br />3- Digite o número 185266394 ;<br />4- Prima F5.<br /><br /> <br />QUE TAL?????????<br />POR ESTA O BILL GATES NÃO ESPERAVA...!"*Clarusssshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01211144433188625747noreply@blogger.com0